The more I learn about God, the bigger He seems to become. I like it that way though. I don’t want to serve a small God who fits inside my little ideas and assumptions about Him.

One false idea I’ve often believed about God is that there are shortcuts to knowing him. If I can just find the absolute most direct route from where I am now to where I want to be then life will fall into place. If I can just master these 1, 3, 5 things, then I’ll find healing, joy, fulfillment, forgiveness, life, friendship…it never works. I usually get 15 minutes into the first thing I’m trying to master and feel so overwhelmed by the pressure of it that I decide to have a Netflix marathon.

It reminds me of when I’m sitting in traffic and I get so frustrated that I bail on the highway for a shortcut. I try to take the back roads, turning and dodging through neighborhoods, to get to my destinations a few minutes faster. The problem is that it very rarely gets me there any faster. Sometimes it just feels good to DO something. Have you ever felt that way? In my frustration I try to take control of the situation by getting a plan and executing it.

For example, several times in moments of discontentment in my spiritual life I’ve thought that if I could master the Bible in One Year plan then all my problems would be solved. I have attempted this at least 3 times with the same result – miserable failure. 

Genesis is long, people.

I’m obviously not saying reading the Bible in a year is a bad idea, it’s my heart and intention behind it. I want a plan/map/formula/instruction manual. But, huge shocker here: God doesn’t always work in our formulas. He’s not a genie in a bottle. “You have completed the one year Bible, I will now give you all peace, joy, and understanding.” He wants to be involved in the process. He wants us to get our hands dirty. He doesn’t want me to just memorize a verse. He wants it to sink down into the deepest parts of me and set up camp. And the funny thing is that most of the time “getting my hands dirty” looks a lot like opening them up and releasing the grip of what I’m holding onto.  It looks like me not putting totally unrealistic expectations on myself.

He just wants us to wake up and say, “I trust you today, Lord.” It sounds so simple, but what I usually wake up and say is: “I trust you today, Lord, but, I’m going to need some painfully specific directions and details…preferably before I get out of bed.”

 And He just keeps asking me to take one more step of faith…

”that was great, Ashley. Can you do it again?”

one more step…

”Wow! I’m so proud of you. Would you be willing to take another?”

one more step…

And on and on it goes. And pretty soon I look back and I’ve walked a mile with the Lord. And it was much more purposeful than the shortcut.